Today's Words of Inspiration

Cars that drive fast sometimes crash.

(It's a metaphor.)

Uneducated Wogs...the Lot of YOU

Who are you to question the veractitaciousness and truthfulness of my claims? You are obviously Nazi conspirators in cahoots with the evil industry of psychiatry to be unnappreciated of my genius theories! Ungrateful wogs!! If it weren't for me, you'd be speaking Japanese right now!!!!

Consider yourself fair gamed.

Today's Words of Inspiration

People who work hard achieve things.

Forces Conspiring Against Me

Curious. The same day your illustrious host starts this website, the provider known as "Blogger" experiences a major service disruption resulting in the inability to post for a period of several hours. Coincidence? I think not. Clearly the FBI and CIA have been alerted to my new internet presence and are doing their best to keep my theories from the public. Given that my work will bring about harmony, universal peace, the end of crime and corruption (save my own) and otherwise completely clear the planet, making life a box of candy for everyone and thus rending said agencies obsolete and useless, it is no surprise that they have made feeble attempts to curtail my advances in science. Everything is back to normal now. I simply channeled the angry energy from the few remaining engrams I have left in my reactive mind and used my powers of concentration to focus the entheta in the direction of Quantico, thus abruptly restoring service. It has substantially improved my Tone scale for the evening.

However, I'm afraid I will not be able to offer you any further examples of my genius until tomorrow, as I will be otherwise preoccupied with gathering forensensical data to support my unique and never before thought of theory that the best way to solve the worldwide problem of famine is to make sure that those who are starving are provided with food. This is going to be a big one, folks.

My Year So Far

Being the important and distinguished gentleman that I am, I of course have been extremely occupied with my travels and discoveries this year. Only six months into 2006 and these are just a few of my accomplishments.

• I received a certificate of merit from Mole Bump, Oklahoma for participating in the potato sack races at their annual Fourth of July picnic.
• I personally erradicated hunger and poverty in three African villages.
• Saved the lives of ten million children with my new discoveries on techniques for swallowing vitamins.
• Single-handedly foiled a sinister plot in Germany by members of the Nazi Party attempting to re-emerge as the dominant power. I had to go undercover for this one, but luckily I had my sailor suit handy so I didn't stand out in the clever disguise.
• Sailed around the world. Twice.
• Ordered six disciples thrown from the deck of my fleet's mother ship, Breakingwinds.
• Tipped off the FBI about the Communist activities of thousands of people in the United States.
• Drank 457 bottles of gin. Popped countless amphetemines while writing my treatise entitled How the Pharmaceutical Industry Caused the Holocaust.

All this while working on my groundbreaking discoveries. But don't worry. I won't be so distracted as deprive the public of my work. Especially the ones with money.

A New Discovery

After literally minutes and minutes of scientific investigation, I have made a discovery that will no doubt bring the human race leaps forward in advancement of the understanding of nature.

Are you ready for this? Because some people who have not studied my theories sometimes develop cases of pneumonia and on rare occassions even die because their minds are not prepared to compute the genius of my work. It is too enturbulating for most people to absorb. It is for this reason that the information provided below is camoflaged in white. Should you feel ready (and unless you've donated at least US$200,000 towards my efforts, let's face it, you're probably not), please use your device called a "mouse" to highlight the sentence below to learn of my most recent discovery.*

Tomatoes don't have feelings.

*By doing so, you accept to the terms and conditions of my offering this great knowledge. Should you become ill by reaction, accidentally taken hostage and forced into slave labor, be forbidden from bathing, face peer humiliation, or commit suicide by shooting yourself with a shotgun twice in the chest and once in the head as a result, you must agree to not hold me accountable in any way.

Today's Words of Inspiration

Children are important.

For more words of inspiration, please visit here.

Welcome.

Greetings. My name is Elron Hubman. I am a writer, creator, scientist, naval hero, philosopher, adventurer, inventor and have been known on occassion to breathe life into dead puppies. When I am not engaged in the important task of making discoveries about human neuroscience that will change the course of civilization by doing things like beating one of my wives and using drugs to conduct mind control experiments on my own children, I intend to use this space to expundulate my philosophies about life and the conditions of man. I will occassionaly also offer great short works of fiction that no author before has so projected and words of inspiration that will influence you to become a better person. I will do all of this in spite of the fact that my usual fees for this great knowledge have been waived for your benefit. Should you undoubtedly be moved to nonetheless contribute monies towards my efforts, I will humbly welcome my deserved donations. Visa, MasterCard, Discovery, American Express and Diner's Reward Cards are accepted.

I would offer more of my biography in this first post, but my experiences have been too far and wide for me to trintipicate in a single post. You will no doubt find great interest in the stories of my life's adventures when I feel generous enough to offer them, along with my great insights into the human experience. No need to thank me. Just knowing I've improved the lives of millions and millions of people all the while retaining my modesty and nobility is enough.